First.. Second.. Third..

Feeling a little sentimental right now…
This first photo is of my belly when I was in labor with Matthew and Callia. I remember thinking this was going to be the last time I feel them kicking inside my belly. This was going to be the last time I ever have this big belly. And I remember recording their heartbeats on my voice recorder. We had been told so many times that Matthew’s prognosis was fatal… so, although I did not believe them, I did, for a moment in silence, thought, this may just be it. This may be the last time that I ever get to hear his heartbeat. It is there… time is never promised. Maybe this was it… so I recorded their heartbeats. I will have to share one day when I get the courage to open the file up.
This second photo is of me the first time I had ever held Matthew. He was 24 days old. Before me, no one had ever held him before. I remember he was so uncomfortable and squirmy because he had never been held in human arms before. I was so nervous and scared and excited and in shock that this moment, right here, was happening. I remember his nurse asked if I wanted to just hold his bed with him in it… and I thought, NO!! I wanted to FEEL him in my arms. I wanted to feel his little legs and his skin and his little body IN-MY-ARMS. My heart was STILL. And suddenly the whole world was PERFECT.
This third photo is US!!! He is a fighter. He is a warrior. He is MY hero! He is (and his sisters are) my JOY. And no matter how crazy and hard and scary and bad and exciting and AMAZING things have been or may become… We choose THIS.
The life we have is made for US!
We are Blessed.

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