There was one time about five years ago (almost exactly five years ago) that the twins were 6 weeks old in the NICU. Callia was close to being discharged and Matthew was prepping for his 3rd surgery. Matthew was NOT doing well at all. Everything was going wrong for him. All his stats were slowly declining and non of the machines he was hooked up to were doing much to get him better.
He needed surgery. Surgery was going to fix his dialysis catheter (again). But first he needed to get better and be stable enough to have surgery.
I remember staying over night at the NICU one night and just sitting in silence. I was holding my precious boy and just soaking in how he felt in my arms. Every day I was in the NICU I felt like I had to memorize everything about him. I wanted to touch his hair, hold his little hand, squeeze his feet and hold him for as long as I could. Doctors weren’t very optimistic that he was going to make it out of the NICU. It was a reality that we had to come to terms with. But it was God’s Promise that I was faced with. Because I knew, from the beginning of this pregnancy, that God had a plan. I knew that this was going to be the fight of my life. I knew that all I had to do was have an everlasting, overwhelming, and unrelenting amount of faith in me. I had to trust in Him, even when no one else could believe in what I was saying. I believed that Matthew was a miracle and was going to survive this. And he is going to be something amazing in this world. All for God.
So I asked the Him…. Lord, I KNOW you have amazing plans for Matthew. I KNOW that I just have to trust you. But right now, his future is so weary. So many medical reports and doctors and people are not believing that he is going to make it. I feel like I am just fighting everyone right now. I am holding my son and I am just fighting everyone away.
So, I asked Him if he would just strengthen my faith that night. If he can just show me something. Show me something about my son, so I can be reassured. I want to see something that HE is going to do for Matthew,
And THIS is what He showed me. My son… walking side by side with his sister… with over-sized backpacks… on their first day of school.
I don’t remember if it was in a dream I dreamed or if it was an instant vision that came into mind. I just remember, crying. Crying happy and exciting tears. Because I knew that he was going to survive. I saw him living a normal life. I saw him ….
I know I have told hundreds of people about this vision. I told anyone and everyone who would listen to my story. I know some people thought I was crazy. Crazy because I was seeing visions. But this was confirmation for me. I needed a little more from Him that night. I needed a little more hope to get through that night. And He gave it to me. And for five years I have held on to this vision. (I wrote a little about it back in 2016 in my post In God’s Time)
And this week…. it happened. His Promise was fulfilled. Matthew and Callia started school this week. And it was one of the most amazing feelings to see, feel and live through. Living through GODS PROMISE!!! I am in AWE of Him. I remember praying for this specific moment, and now here I am. It was beautiful.
Living in God’s Grace. To God Be The Glory.