February 2017

So this month has been….. a little “off”. I know it is just one of those times that everything is just going to be hard. And that is the perfect way to describe this month so far… hard. It feels like nothing has been easy. Nothing has come smoothly and nothing has gone as planned. So, needless to say, this Mama Bear has not been happy.

First off… we moved. We had to move from our lovely home in our lovely neighborhood in our lovely gated community into a much smaller home. With me not working, we don’t have the double income that used to come in to afford our big lovely home. These last three years, we have lost a lot. And now, we have lost our home.

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

And naked shall I return there.

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;

Blessed be the Name of the Lord.” –Job 1:21

That is how our month started. I realized that we have fulfilled this verse. Every material possession has finally been taken from us. Our home was the last thing we were trying to hold on to. And now that is gone as well.

But you know what I keep thinking, despite all of this… we are blessed!! We are so incredibly blessed. And I want to thank God every chance I get. Material things are just that… things. I have learned that my JOY and our family’s JOY is found in each other. In laughing and joking and playing and talking with each other. I, as a mother, feel incredibly blessed to have realized this when my children are still young.

Last week as the nurses were doing my sons dressing change for his dialysis catheter, we learned that the anchor to it detached and there was really nothing keeping his line in his chest. Any little movement can rip it right out and his dialysis catheter will stop working. But here is the kicker…. Matthew is sick. He has a bad cough, lots of congestion and has been needing oxygen because his preemie lungs just have such a hard time keeping up.

Doctor evaluated him and said that he can’t have surgery if he is sick. So…. i asked the doctor, well what do we do? She said so bluntly, “Pray.”

I chuckled a little and said “ok. Yeah.” And i asked, ” But what are our options?” She said, “Pray it keeps working until he is better and can have surgery.”
So that is where we are at. Praying every day that his catheter works and hia lungs stay strong. He still has a cough however today his lungs and breath sounds were clear. So Praise God for that!! He is scheduled for surgery tomorrow. Head surgeon and anesthesiologist are going to evaluate him when we check in at noon. We will see if they will go forward with surgery.

Will update soon


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