Life is Hard

Life is Hard.

That’s pretty much it. My kids all came down with the stomach bug last week. ALL OF THEM. ALL SIX OF THEM!!! And now that they are all feeling better, I now have it. All day yesterday, last night and today I have not been able to keep anything down. And let me not describe the excruciating pain in my entire abdomen. I swear it felt like someone reached into my stomach, grabbed a handful of gut and just twisted it around. The pain… omg. I would have rather gone through childbirth than this stomach pain. seriously!! But I refuse to go to the hospital. I am a mom. I got this.

This too shall pass.

I am incredibly blessed that I have a mother that has tagged along with me on this journey. I was able to call her late last night and ask her to take Matthew to his dialysis treatment today. Thank God because I don’t know how I would have managed to get him there if she didn’t take him. And I have a mother in law that knows hows to take care of people. It’s her business. So she dropped off a few bags of soap and crackers and ginger ale. And has helped with the kids so I can sleep most of the day.

i. am. blessed.

I was sitting here and thinking about all the things that I have to do this week. The phone calls to return, the appointments to make, the arrangements to make, the meetings I need to get to, the homework I need to do, the classes I need to attend and the kids activities that I have to make priority…. not to mention making room for the grocery story and a shower here and there. *sigh* I’m tired just typing that. true story.

But this is my life. I do this to myself. And I know I do. I make the arrangements, set up the meetings, make the phone calls, write the emails, send out invites and allow the kids to have activities. But this is life. This is life with six kids. This is life with a sick a child. This is life in charge of a family support program at the only Children’s Hospital in a 200 mile radius. This is MY life. I am proud of my life. But sheesh…

Life is Hard.

But how do I minimize it?? I already stopped all fundraisers for our non-profit because I am concentrating on my sons care and upcoming transplant. But I can’t stop our family support. I still meet moms on a weekly basis and will still answer their calls, texts and emails. I will still send out prayer texts when someone reaches out. I won’t stop being there for someone who is reaching out to me. I just can’t…

But how do I stop?? I can’t stop going to school because once I do, forget it. I know I won’t go back. I am on a momentum and the pace is good. I can’t stop setting up doctors appointments for Matthew or for my other kids because their health is important. And if one needs to see a specialist for this or that, then that is what we will do. I can’t stop setting up meetings with the hospital or with another organization. I can’t break those ties. I will forever do what I can to help other people or other organizations because who else will?? Helping the hospital and helping the Ronald McDonald House and helping the other organizations I volunteer for are going to help so many others. I am still willing and able so that is what I will keep doing.

And as far as my kids go…. that will never cease. They have given up so much already. And kids shouldn’t make those kind of sacrifices. I vowed that this school year they were going to do what they wanted to do. They stopped doing dance and sports these past two years because of the uncertainty of Matthew and his health. But now that we have more of an idea of what needs to be done or what will happen…. they will get involved and do their extra curricular activities. SO now we have one softball player, one actress in theater, two dancers and one gymnast. Matthew, when he is old enough, will play baseball. lol.

Life is Hard. 

But life is so good!! I have to keep busy. I have to keep going. I can’t stop everything. I have said this before but I am so scared of what will happen if I stop. What will my mind reach if I stop it from being busy? What will it be like if I have time to sit and do nothing but think? As time goes by I will do less and less for Made For A Miracle because I have to concentrate on my family. God first, then family. And I will also do what I can to keep helping other families. However that happens, it will happen. Everything will fall into place, I know it and I believe it.

Life is hard… but life is so good.


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