I have fallen into a black hole of anonymity. I have noticed on this new blog address that I have no followers, I have no one coming to read what I write, I have no one that really seems to care anymore. I am starting over in anonymity.
I wrote in a previous post that I used to LOVE to write. I wrote everything. I wrote about everything. I wrote what I wanted to write. I wrote HOWEVER I wanted to write. It didn’t matter to me. But now….. the writing world sucks for me.
I find myself going to back to the way I used to write, old school and in my journal. It was so much easier. No one read what I wrote. It was intimate. I am able to tell it my secrets. I can write what I am REALLY feeling. And I have No fear whatsoever of what someone will say about it. No one will care what I write. No one is going to screen shot my journal and nitpick everything I say. no one is going to stalk me and TRY to make me out to be a liar about it… lol.. which was really funny when I found out how obsessed this psycho was.. haha..
But seriously.. now I can’t write online. Now I am paranoid at psycho finding me again. And with my blog that was published and the comments I received a month back.. I really don’t want anyone in my world.
But I need to keep writing. I am still writing my book… or, as what I was told is now called, a memoir… I am still writing that But that is completely OFF LINE. I wont be publishing or showing or sharing with anyone any part of that. That is strictly details about what happened. Not only that, but this book wont be done until after Matthew’s transplant. This book is something that will take about 3 years to write. So… don’t expect anything from me until, minimum, NEXT YEAR in 2017. My editor told me I have until Christmas, and I told him he will get it when it’s done. lol.. Although I think it WILL be done by Christmas.. lol.. but done as in, I will send it to him to edit it.. lol.. not done as in it will get published at that time…
Anywho… I like being anonymous. But I want to be heard… so what does that make me??
So weird. I want to speak but I don’t want anyone looking at me. I want to say things and write but I don’t want people to know who I am… is that normal in the blogging world??
I know going through what I went through is normal.. and now I absolutely regret changing my url address and running away. I never should have run away. But now.. its too late. so. I will start all over again. So here we go.. this is me.. starting over..
see you later.