Chasing after Him

DECEMBER 21, 2015

Go. Chase. Seek Him. Please Him. Be more like Him….

That’s what I have been trying to do. And it bothers me so much that I fail at it daily. I try so much to be JOYFUL. I try to be FORGIVING. I try to be HELPFUL. I try to be LOVING and I try to be BETTER at everything.

Joyful during times of defeat. Matthew’s illness has taken a toll on my heart. It is such a roller coaster ride that some days I am desperate to jump off. But I know I can’t. I am on this journey for a reason that only God knows. And I refuse to live a miserable life. Other than all that comes with disease and chronic sickness, everything in life is good. The Lord has provided for our family. Our kids, our marriage, our jobs, new house, new cars… it is amazing how blessed we are. Life is not perfect, but we choose JOY.

We received new information about Matthew and now a new issue with his twin sister Callia. I call it Preemie Problems. She now has to go through a full panel work up, scans and testing. It has been a worrisome few weeks…. but we choose joy. We will not live life with fear or worry. Our children are in God’s Hands. They are held so tightly and are on a path of their own Miracle journey.

Forgiveness. It is something I have struggled with for years. How can you forgive the evilness in people? How do you forgive betrayal? How do you forgive the constant stalking and pokes by those who hate you simply for just being in existence? Family members who have done wrong to you… how do you forgive?

I have thrown myself into His word the second any kind of thought comes to mind. Because I have chosen JOY, I have been able to open my heart and follow His word more. There are two scriptures that I run to when I get hit with something bad from someone or something. The first is 1 Peter 3:9

Repay evil with a blessing. Simple as that. Let blessings and prayers come from your heart and be heard from your mouth. I have done that and I have been mocked for it. And that’s fine… it is not ME who will rob myself from a blessing. All I have done is be obedient to God’s word. If it is not well received, well… that’s not my problem. That’s between them and God. All I can do is pray for protection, strength and peace.

The second scripture I look to when I am in need of forgiveness is Colossians 3:12-14.

“Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience…” …I am trying…. everyday.

Be Helpful. I do what I can. I gave myself to the Lord many many years ago. And I have offered, asked and sometimes begged for Him to use me. Use me for His purpose. Use me as a vessel to Glorify His name… to go into the world and share His miracles, His word, His love, His strength and Hope.
I wish and pray that I can help more and more families. I pray to be and to do what God has assigned me to do. He has put me on a path that I had no idea I would be on. I am still wondering HOW I am supposed to do what He has tasked me to do… but having FAITH, TRUSTING in His word and BELIEVING that He will guide me throughout this journey, I know His Will will be done. … BELIEVING that the Lord will never give you a job you can’t accomplish. He will never set you up for failure. Iknow this is where I’m supposed to be. I know this is what I’m supposed to do.

I am humbled and blessed to be ambassador and servant for His works.

2016 WILL be an amazing year.

To God Be The Glory.