Dear 2014

JANUARY 2, 201

I am so glad you’re gone!! You gave me such a hard time… I wish I could forget you! God gave me a promise and you almost ruined it for me.

You started out amazingly.

January 2014… we just found out we were pregnant. We just got married in November… so to be pregnant so quickly was kid of awesome. We started to have fun with the idea. We hadn’t yet told anyone in our family… but I was showing so early they started to make jokes and question me. I denied..denied..denied!!! haha It was fun!

February 2014… we made the big announcement. Baby number 5 was on its way. It was a great great month. I didn’t have to hide my big bulging belly and we started to plan and shop and get ready for baby!!

March 2014… When life started to play with us. We found out we were having twins!!! One girl and one boy!! Our first boy!! So altogether that would make 5 girls and 1 boy. God has a sense of humor, that’s for sure.

April 2014… The month we got the crazy news. Our son was diagnosed with Posterior Urethral Valves. His prognosis was unknown and our girl was at risk because of him. But we kept positive. We knew that God planned all of this. God blessed us with twins… and we must remain thankful.

May 2014… The hardest month of the year. Doctors told us our son would probably not live past his birth. But what do doctors know? I prayed and prayed like never before. I RELIED on God. And ONLY GOD. We were given no other hope… but what was written in the bible… all we had was the Promise of His word.

June 2014… The most horrible month of the year. I never knew if my son was going to be alive in my belly for much longer. Doctors told us not to expect him to last much longer. Nothing looked good for him. And the risk he was putting our daughter in… it was bad. This was the month they did two surgeries on our son while in utero. The month doctors told us they weren’t going to do anything to save him… then quickly changed their minds and chanced it… The month we told doctors not to worry about our sons “Quality of Life”… because that is something for us to worry about. Our children’s quality of life is something that is left up for God to give us direction and strength for.

July 2014… Our twins were born ALIVE and BREATHING………and ALIVE! This month was filled with hope… faith… love…

August 2014… bittersweet. Our twin daughter was big enough to come home. Our son had to stay. We now had FIVE daughters at home with us.

September 2014… just a blur. My husband lost his job…. I stopped getting paid…welcome to our world financial problems… please stay for a while, said life.

October 2014…Doctors told us our son was not going to live. I told the,… it wasn’t up to them… it was up to God. God made me a PROMISE. And he wasn’t going to take it back. God didn’t bring us this far just to let our son die. I had gone through so much confusion and anger and joy and just so many emotions… I finally had to give my son to God. I had to let go of the hold I had on my son… and I had to give him to God… the night that I did that… I walked away and drove home. From that moment on, our son got better and better and better. Praise God.

November 2014… Our son came home. We almost lost our home… but God made a way…we were blessed to have a home for our son to come home to.

December 2014… First Christmas as a whole family. Amazing. We are Blessed.

So 2014… I am glad you are gone!!! You came in like an AMAZING firecracker… you burned me like no other… but then you left me with these crazy ugly scars. God wins, Life. God always wins.

Thank you, Lord, for the lesson. We will forever remain faithful. We will forever belong to you. Use us.. use our son.. use our story to share YOUR Miracles!! Help us to spread YOUR word. Use ME for whatever your created me for.

Goodbye 2014… I will not miss you… but you will remain in me forever.